brick wall

I've been chasing this high for entirely too long.
The high I got when I first shot you into my bloodstream, and let all my problems and pains go.
the high I was on was surreal. After so long using you became normal and soon after that abusing also became normal. I would run to you everytime I had a speedbump in the road of life. Inject myself with the empty feelings of happiness and joy, and for split seconds in time everything actually seemed like it would be ok. I remember when I couldn't see myself being "ok" without you... I now know that I have to give up this drug. I have to detox myself and I have to go on with life sober. I can not lie I will miss the temporary solutions to my miniscule problems, but I know if I continue down this path I will end up overdosing.

long walks

trivial feelings.
nothing matters but the moment, she said.
as her lips met mine at that moment our souls intertwined and we were none...
not one, but none
this kiss that I longed for my whole life was nothing more
than random happenings of two hormonally charged kids
with no place to go and no feelings to give
no care in the world or no will to live
this all means nothing 30 seconds from here

goal.

sleep, watch game, eat, sleep, eat, sleep, watch game...sleep

oh the life.

I'm glad we're at an understanding.

with that said I need to masturbate.

-fin-