23.9.08

burry me a...

[grabs pistol]

bring his head to me!
I always wanted to say that

I feel...feel...emotionless
I seriously don't feel shit.
happy sad anger calm nothing I'm just here floating.

crushcruschcrush
they taped over your mouth scribbled out the truth with there lies.

seriousness
I feel everything and everyone is falling.
like we built ourselves up with false hopes and dreams and now they are collapsing upon themselves and we are all falling
my once vivid dreams have become foggy in my views on life have become jumbled and I am losing every ounce, inch, and strand of completeness I had.

I still have my family (N3TA) but I feel even we are falling apart
everyone is going through at least one problem and all the mighty people are taking dives
like seriously although I have 2 years on Taqee I look up to the dude. and He's going through some hellish monsters right now. Same with Ahmad and Key.
shit has become unbearable to even conceive.

I want some sort of stability and peace at mind not just a "this will hold off until I find more shit to cheer me up" I am tired of this vicious cycle of suppression and smiles

I want to take my brain out of my head and ring it out... draining all the brain wracking shit out. and hopefully make me truly happy

3 comments:

ess.jay said...

Dude. If we could wring our brains out that would be the greatest shit.
I'll tell you what I tell everyone. You are always, ALWAYS, stronger than you think you are. ALWAYS. And even though the people you love are going through their own shit, they're still here for you. As am I. :]

daphne bee. said...

I kind of think that it has
to do with the fact that we`re all
growing up now, so problems that were
able to rub off so quickly before, aren`t so hard to dispense of .

We`re all going to go through our problems .

But we`ll persevere .. things don`t stay down for too long .

At least that`s what I`m hoping .

Anonymous said...

Like I told you for the 2 and half hours I've been talking to you..things will get better. Don't cut it off before they do. I know we just met but I'm here for you no matter what. Like I said earlier, we're in this together!!!