my suicide note.

SO me and India broke up.
we need "time" apart. i guess.
We're suppose to be getting back together but I don't know if that's going to work out.
I love her with every fiber of my being. and it hurts like hell knowing I can no longer make her happy as i once did.

I'm currently running this razor blade along my wrist vertically of course, I feel dead.
I feel the same way I did the day I went to my mothers funeral. heartbroken and lifeless.
I know I may have made a mistake by letting her become the sole reason as to why I wake up...
but hell I couldn't help it. after so long of detaching my emotions from the rest of me, I finally found some one I could be whole with and she loved me for me.

My deepest fear used to be emotions.
but after meeting her and falling in "love" countless times my deepest fear became the fact that one day I was going to die and leave her, leave her here without me to love her.
now I don't know what I fear since I kind of feel like i should go ahead and let this razor penetrate my skin so I could bleed until I feel none of these emotions anymore.
bleed until I don't feel anything anymore
bleed until what is left of my heart runs dry.