this is the end... I presume

so....

2008 has come and it soon will be passing and I have grown a lot.
not only physically but mentality I have realized I nor anyone on this earth is always right. but most (giving the benefit of the doubt) have good intentions.
I have broken down my barrier of emotionless voids and became closer to my family and close to my friends.
I also realized this year that martial things don't make me happy.
I used to be so hooked on the next pair of sneakers and the coolest shirts and yada yada yada...
but I now don't give a flying FUCK. and I am more content with my pair of vans and a nice hoodie

I also met some wonderful people this year that have impacted my life drastically I could go on forever with names and what not but I'd typing for hours. just know that I am grateful for you guys being in my life.

uhh what else...
I don't know
welp
Peace out 2008 you were a wonderful year
but I have to see what else is in store for 2009.
to all who are reading
Have a wonderful night and rest of the year, and please be safe.

I need some Juicy.

I am addicted to fresh, fly, and sex!

nah, but on another note Christmas has came and passed it's was nice.
I didn't get as angry as I usually do around this time.

It felt like just another day in the life of Dino Brown.
I thought about You but only for a little while, It made me smile :D
I am sure you already know you're having another grandchild Natosha is 7 or 8 weeks preggers!
I hope she has a girl I am tired of little knuckled headed boys.

I had a lot to blog about until I opened up the window and now I am shooting blanks. haha
I got a guitar which means I'm gunna need lessons and I got a jacket and a sketch book.
My Secret Santa still has to give me my gift(s). My homie John bought me a shirt, and I got a bottle of sparkling cider which was really good!

Damn...well I can't think of anything else I could update you guys on so peace until next time.

p.s. an installment of Studio 19 will be posted soon. I know it's been a while but I have been really busy

this is the part where the beat breaks down

damn I love red beans and rice.

I am a jealous boyfriend, but hell I can't help it.
Christmas is in 11 days and I still haven't bought anyone anything.
I want a fucking top hate.
There's something about Mary.
I want to play hockey again.

yea that shit had to hurt.

The Dr.

"live fast, die young, leave a nice corpse"

A group of my closest friends and I had a little discussion last night and one of the few topics we discussed is whether if one of us was terminally ill would you "pull the plug".

I personally wouldn't to sit in a vegetative state for the rest of my life especially if the chances of me making it through were slim...I would want whoever the power of attorney is to pull every fucking thing connected to my ass let me die.

that stemmed a few other questions such as what to do with my body and if reincarnation is real what would I come back as...

I would want to get cremated, the thought of my body rotting away in a tomb for the next 20 or so years just doesn't seem fun...
I want a funeral but no burial I want to be cremated after wards...I want my funeral to be mellow but not sad I want people to remember me and not miss me I want to everyone who to listen to Fall Out Boy and "Hyphy" music I don't want any preachers or shit like that I want all the religious aspects of the funeral extracted and I want everyone to wear at least one item of green clothing .

uhh and If I were to come back I would want to come back as either a spider monkey or a shark
1.) because I love monkeys and sharks
2.) because they're so cool I want to be a shark because they are the kings or their domain Sharks rule the sea and I love the sea
3.) spider monkeys are just amazingly cute and smart

it was a few more question that I can't remember right now...so i shall end this here homies
thanks for reading

I have XXX tattooed on my wrist (no lie)

"crash and burn...
burn slow...
slow down...
down fall...
we're back to crashing again!"

I am sitting next to my love
and as of the past week or so our relationship has gotten stronger we haven't fought (much)
and we're back to doing things we used to... I guess me having a job is like a "key" to my happiness overall.

I am a few hundreds bucks in debt which ain't bad I guess but I wanna get it out of the way before it fucks me in the piss hole..

I can't wait for Christmas I just wanna play my guitar.

this time it'll be different (not)

Sometimes I can't get over the fact you won't be here for the holidays
although this will be roughly the 11th Christmas without you
I still hope you're going to walk through the door on Christmas Eve night and come sleep with me and teddy..
but to no avail it fails every time.
and Christmas day always seems empty no matter how many gifts I get or how many I give
I never get what I truly want and it kinda tears a little piece of my heart away every time
I wonder how long it's going to take before I die of heartbreak although promises of the best Christmas yet have been made time and time again it still happens
don't get me wrong I am thankful for those in my life and I would probably be in a worse condition if anything happen to them but still...
it seems to get harder and harder as the years go past, which seems backwards in my opinion but ehh... I'm no psychologist
I just wish I didn't have to grow older without you, I wish you could have seen us (me and my sisters) graduate I wish you could have thrown me an 18th birthday party I wish you could have met your grandchildren...
Gah why do tears taste so salty?!
I think I'll end this now I'm running out of sodium

tattooed tears and smeared make-up

ahh...
lets see how deep we can get

I've come to terms I often live in the past, not as in wanting to go back
but having no clue as to when the past becomes the present and so on an so forth...

I mean the blur between now and two seconds ago scares the shit out of me sometimes...
and even worse the blur between now and two seconds from now...
It's enough to put you on edge not knowing what is next (at least it is for me)
I'm sure if you know me you know how deathly afraid of change (aka the future)
I am impatientent and for lack of a better term noisy as shit...
so I have a "I must know everything and I must know it now" mentality and that just aint how time works and it bothers me...

I think thats like the worse feeling in the world knowing you can't do shit about something
I guess I'll get over one day but for now...GAH!

well I gotta go get ready for work so I'll see you folks after the jump