my head music is on shuffle
and I can seem to find any music I want to listen to.
maybe my subconscious wnats me to hear "More to Life" by Stacy Orico
or "My Heart is the worse kind of weapon" by Fall Out Boy...
because I can't seem to stop uttering the line
"Spent most of last night draining this lake full or corpses of all my past mistakes"
seeing how last night I dreamed about my days in high school which I often refer to my trial and error phase of life. I guess last night was my night to get it off my conscious and into the past were it is and forever will be.
If only I could do that with all my life's hang-ups just write them off as void as I've longed to do so for some time now. Like the fact I am still upset at times about her leaving me and the fact I sometimes still wonder if he is wondering about me, or... what if I didn't want those damn chips so bad would I still have my cousin.
but I can't. These thoughts are persistent coming at random times and often over staying their welcome in the wonderful amusement park that I call a mind.
I often blame myself for the things that happen to me writing it of as Karma for something a past life has done or better yet something I've yet to do. In turn making me question the "Mechanics of The Universe" which I put so much faith in trust into.
trusting it to work the way it should and believing everything happens for a reason
and usually at this part Fall Out Boy lyrics pop into my head again from the song "Sophomore slump or the comeback of the year" that goes "the best part of beLIEve is the Lie.
making me think am I feeling myself up with false hope?
and as fast as the music came it changed back to Gucci Mane.
Quarter pound, half a pound, whole pound AYY
100 pills, 1,000 pills servin' major Weight!
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