I am...

Hello world, how are you?

sometimes I want to go back, back to the beginning where I started.

personal shit coming on so strap on your seat belt.

I started in 7th grade, I know you're trying to figure out what I'm talking about but I'll get to that...

every since the 7th grade i realized I was'nt "normal" or ever going to be that way for that matter.
I lost my mother at the age of seven and had no type of comfort because I was sent straight to live with my father. he hated me and this is not no oh I think my dad hates me type shit it was stated and stated often....

so yea no comfort for a fucking child who just lost their only guardian.
so from then I went to live in numerous foster homes ending up in one where the whole fucking set up was all fucked
the people who ran the place could'nt care less about the children that they were suppose to be taking "care" of....
so from there I lived with my uncle I'm about 9 by this time by the way...
and everything is wonderful until he loses his job and we have to go back to eating noodles and hotdogs damn near every night.
so I stayed with him for a long time he got married and had a child and it was a nice pretty family until I started to realize I was never going to see my mother or my favorite cousin (who was murdered the summer before 7th grade) again...
my grades started to slip and I begin to care less about anything besides death.
I wanted to be DEAD.
I slipped into what they call depression I guess.. I begun to try to kill myslef by the time 8th grade rolled around drinking massive amounts of cleaning cough syrup just so I could sleep my days away.
I was admitted into several diff mental hospital at the end of the 8th grade and the beginning of 9th grade....
and then I started doing helly drugs including mushrooms,coke,vicodin,and codeine,
I was never sober through 9th grade and most of tenth grade..
around the end of tenth grade me and my uncle begin to fall out so i was forced to move with my sisters on the east side and switch schools...
I was in the HOOD!
seriously out of place seeing how i went to school with a majority white populated school.
I didn't fit in at all so I begin to create this persana that helped me "fit" in with all the thugs it worked but I hated it

then I got a job at the Rink and I finally felt free again after playing hockey off and on my whole life skating just felt right I gained helly confindence and I was a new person
that worked well I met a bunch of great people due to working down there
so on that note I'm ending it here cause I'm kinda tied of typin this shit...

peace-