I'm ok folk.
ignore the last entry.
We're back together and I am fine she's fine and we're working on making our relationship better.
God I know i wasn't really "old" enough to appreciate the '90's.
but dammnit I miss them
all the NO Limit anthems, Biggie, Tupac, Aaliyah, Monica, Brandy, Jodaci, the Hot Boyz.
living life without any worries... staying up all night with my cousins on the porch. teaching my nephew D'shawndre how to walk...
shit is crazy how time flies.
29.1.09
27.1.09
my suicide note.
SO me and India broke up.
we need "time" apart. i guess.
We're suppose to be getting back together but I don't know if that's going to work out.
I love her with every fiber of my being. and it hurts like hell knowing I can no longer make her happy as i once did.
I'm currently running this razor blade along my wrist vertically of course, I feel dead.
I feel the same way I did the day I went to my mothers funeral. heartbroken and lifeless.
I know I may have made a mistake by letting her become the sole reason as to why I wake up...
but hell I couldn't help it. after so long of detaching my emotions from the rest of me, I finally found some one I could be whole with and she loved me for me.
My deepest fear used to be emotions.
but after meeting her and falling in "love" countless times my deepest fear became the fact that one day I was going to die and leave her, leave her here without me to love her.
now I don't know what I fear since I kind of feel like i should go ahead and let this razor penetrate my skin so I could bleed until I feel none of these emotions anymore.
bleed until I don't feel anything anymore
bleed until what is left of my heart runs dry.
we need "time" apart. i guess.
We're suppose to be getting back together but I don't know if that's going to work out.
I love her with every fiber of my being. and it hurts like hell knowing I can no longer make her happy as i once did.
I'm currently running this razor blade along my wrist vertically of course, I feel dead.
I feel the same way I did the day I went to my mothers funeral. heartbroken and lifeless.
I know I may have made a mistake by letting her become the sole reason as to why I wake up...
but hell I couldn't help it. after so long of detaching my emotions from the rest of me, I finally found some one I could be whole with and she loved me for me.
My deepest fear used to be emotions.
but after meeting her and falling in "love" countless times my deepest fear became the fact that one day I was going to die and leave her, leave her here without me to love her.
now I don't know what I fear since I kind of feel like i should go ahead and let this razor penetrate my skin so I could bleed until I feel none of these emotions anymore.
bleed until I don't feel anything anymore
bleed until what is left of my heart runs dry.
15.1.09
12.1.09
I'm a mess but you're worse
Don't forget how well I really know you.
You know what I love about life? The part were you realize that everything is out of your control
and you finally let "life" run its course of inevitable destruction .
I am not saying speed up this process by no means do I want the blood of any suicidal teens on my hands. I am just saying let shit go, life's problems eventually fix themselves. "No pain last forever"
I don't know who said it, but it's some true shit.
"if seconds heal all wounds,
I'll put these tips on you
When faith is left to prove
It's all you'll have to lose"
-Brenden Urie of Panic at the Disco
from the song "One of Those Nights" by the The Cab
You know what I love about life? The part were you realize that everything is out of your control
and you finally let "life" run its course of inevitable destruction .
I am not saying speed up this process by no means do I want the blood of any suicidal teens on my hands. I am just saying let shit go, life's problems eventually fix themselves. "No pain last forever"
I don't know who said it, but it's some true shit.
"if seconds heal all wounds,
I'll put these tips on you
When faith is left to prove
It's all you'll have to lose"
-Brenden Urie of Panic at the Disco
from the song "One of Those Nights" by the The Cab
7.1.09
6.1.09
bed spread bandit since '89
This is it, Call it quits with honesty
ok so I finally figured out who sings this song called "Bounce" it's by The Cab.
I fuckin' love them.
they are one of my "new" favorite bands.
I almost lost my job today.
whomp whomp
almost doesn't count though so who give a FUCK!
I am gettin' my tattoo tommorow (I always put two m's instead of two r's) well tech. today...
I decided to get the heart with the question mark pierced through it.
and maybe just maybe my lip tattoo :)
that is all folks
ok so I finally figured out who sings this song called "Bounce" it's by The Cab.
I fuckin' love them.
they are one of my "new" favorite bands.
I almost lost my job today.
whomp whomp
almost doesn't count though so who give a FUCK!
I am gettin' my tattoo tommorow (I always put two m's instead of two r's) well tech. today...
I decided to get the heart with the question mark pierced through it.
and maybe just maybe my lip tattoo :)
that is all folks
5.1.09
этот быть принадлежащий мне любовь
I love her.
Nothing in this world have ever made me more happy than seeing her face . Never ever will I ever love another as much as her.
Dreaming of her makes me want to sleep forever but it is all the better when I awake because she is never to far away.
I need her, I often say I need when it is only a want but I try to function without her, and it fails.
It fails so bad I go into panic and frantically dial her number just to hear her voice.
All that I do can be traced back to her she is my everything my world. If I lost her I am sure I would plummet from the tower I stand on when I think of her.
she makes me feel so so so... COMPLETE no one else can compete in my mind
but of course she shall remain nameless until you read between the lines.
Nothing in this world have ever made me more happy than seeing her face . Never ever will I ever love another as much as her.
Dreaming of her makes me want to sleep forever but it is all the better when I awake because she is never to far away.
I need her, I often say I need when it is only a want but I try to function without her, and it fails.
It fails so bad I go into panic and frantically dial her number just to hear her voice.
All that I do can be traced back to her she is my everything my world. If I lost her I am sure I would plummet from the tower I stand on when I think of her.
she makes me feel so so so... COMPLETE no one else can compete in my mind
but of course she shall remain nameless until you read between the lines.
interview
here is another exclusive Interview from Dino Brown
national radio personnel
it's 2:20 am and as usual the man is awake.
Calvin Oakfiled: What's up Dino?!
Dino:...nothing much, yo. Just chillin', loving life and whatnot.
CO: Cool, cool. We have heard you have some new projects for the year. would you like to touch on thoses.
Dino: Yea, I am working with soundofsoul radio. That's a internet radio station ran by my close friend Stacy'e Jones out of Detroit, MI. We're currently trying to get this audio comic book type thing into action. they of course want my voice (laughs)
CO: That sounds cool. Do you know what the comic is and the title?
Dino: Yea, but I can't disclose that info as of now.
CO: That's cool. So how is your personal life?
Dino: Great it's a new year, which means new opportunities. Me and My fiance are great. We have a cat, he's a handful.
CO: What is his name.
Dino: (laughs) I knew this was coming. His name is Mr. King Bartholomew Aluicious Henry the Third the Second
CO: Whoa, Who named the cat that?
Dino: Me of of course.
CO: I figured, Well that wraps up our time folks.
this has been a Kyi production paid for by the f-u pay me foundation.
national radio personnel
it's 2:20 am and as usual the man is awake.
Calvin Oakfiled: What's up Dino?!
Dino:...nothing much, yo. Just chillin', loving life and whatnot.
CO: Cool, cool. We have heard you have some new projects for the year. would you like to touch on thoses.
Dino: Yea, I am working with soundofsoul radio. That's a internet radio station ran by my close friend Stacy'e Jones out of Detroit, MI. We're currently trying to get this audio comic book type thing into action. they of course want my voice (laughs)
CO: That sounds cool. Do you know what the comic is and the title?
Dino: Yea, but I can't disclose that info as of now.
CO: That's cool. So how is your personal life?
Dino: Great it's a new year, which means new opportunities. Me and My fiance are great. We have a cat, he's a handful.
CO: What is his name.
Dino: (laughs) I knew this was coming. His name is Mr. King Bartholomew Aluicious Henry the Third the Second
CO: Whoa, Who named the cat that?
Dino: Me of of course.
CO: I figured, Well that wraps up our time folks.
this has been a Kyi production paid for by the f-u pay me foundation.
4.1.09
un huh!
I walk on the brink of sanity and that which is not.
not necessarily insanity just not sane.
I have been this way for a long while.
tip toeing along the lines of mental soundness.
I sometimes catch myself before I completely dive into the ocean of unstable thoughts.
I don't have much to talk about now-a-days.
sucks because I hate idleness. It allows me to have to much time with my thoughts
which as you can see isn't a very good thing for to long.
India's Mom said she was going to take us to church one day. It made me laugh which I think offended her, I said I wasn't going to go which I am sure offended her more. But I honestly don't care, not to be rude or anything but if i wanted to be lied to I would go to a strip club.
I just hate the fact that most churches preach money money money, and a lot of the pastors are low key drug dealers/pimps/rappers.
well I am done with this one.
p.s
bring it back to the bottom of the map!
not necessarily insanity just not sane.
I have been this way for a long while.
tip toeing along the lines of mental soundness.
I sometimes catch myself before I completely dive into the ocean of unstable thoughts.
I don't have much to talk about now-a-days.
sucks because I hate idleness. It allows me to have to much time with my thoughts
which as you can see isn't a very good thing for to long.
India's Mom said she was going to take us to church one day. It made me laugh which I think offended her, I said I wasn't going to go which I am sure offended her more. But I honestly don't care, not to be rude or anything but if i wanted to be lied to I would go to a strip club.
I just hate the fact that most churches preach money money money, and a lot of the pastors are low key drug dealers/pimps/rappers.
well I am done with this one.
p.s
bring it back to the bottom of the map!
3.1.09
I was going to write something profound, but I of course forgot as I usually do.
for some odd reason I have been utterly pissed with human kind as a whole since the new year rang in.
I don't know but it seems as if people want to put up this facade of change so they can be "cool".
Man fuck that...
if you're an Ignorant fuck be that, don't through a few "big" words in your vocab to make yourself seem more intellectual it's not going to work.
man fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
bye
for some odd reason I have been utterly pissed with human kind as a whole since the new year rang in.
I don't know but it seems as if people want to put up this facade of change so they can be "cool".
Man fuck that...
if you're an Ignorant fuck be that, don't through a few "big" words in your vocab to make yourself seem more intellectual it's not going to work.
man fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
bye
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