pick me! pick me! pick me!

I wish.
it's gunna suck when you lose everything.

Spy.

Don't ask for permission just ask for forgiveness.

Can you miss something you never really lost? 'Cause I sure as hell do miss myself.

I was looking at a pic of me in the 10th grade and I miss him.
I was Brandon then, not Dino, not Zew/Zoo, it was after Binky.
It was before the lovedrunk person who feels as if he can't stand alone.

I stood alone, by myself just me and my addictions I had no problems in the world.
I never showed my real eyes because of two reasons they were always bloodshot due to the lack of sleep and all the drugs. The other reason was because I didn't like people being able to view my soul. I liked my people like cross country racing I needed some distance. haha
but no one knew what was going on in my head not even me at some times. and I liked it. it gave me a edge if I felt threatened I could quickly shut down the fort and that'd be the it.
now I have friends that I actually care about and care about me... and I feel if anyone cares about you you will let them down at one point and time and vis versa. Which is where i get even more confused.

WHY THE FUCK DO I KEEP ALLOWING MYSELF TO GET HURT?

the drugs the drugs all the drugs.
I wish it was that easy to just go back to be being Brandon from the 10th grade.
but I know it would hurt everyone who cares and I just can't do that to them.
vicious Masochism cycle of pleasure, passion, and pain.

GuessWho

I know you missed me.

I've been on a roller coaster of emotions for the past week and a half.

eh.

"I am addicted to the way I feel when I think of you...."
you'll never know who that's about don't ask.

"I swallowed pride but spit out fire"
you'll also never know who that was about

"I'm the kind of kid who never lets anything go, but you wouldn't know a good thing if it came up in slit your throat."
again you'll never know.

"Prescribed pills to offset the shakes to offset the pills..."
you're gettin' good at this never knowing thing.

"Baby seasons change but people don't...."
nah, guess again.

"this story's getting old a home wrecker with a heart of gold."
yea, uhhh no.

toy soildiers

I should have just thrown it away when I had the chance buried with the corpse they put in the ground.

I still love you, but I feel like you love someone else and I can't handle it. I hate that (S)HE happened though.

I miss David, Jordan, and Kyle, I can not wait until the summer I have some shit to do.

applied to work at Cedar Point today, I really don't want to go but if i do it'll be an experience I guess.

Nostalgia is a bitch with teeth in her vagina.

strike

they way you move when you sleep.
the way you look before you leap.
the strange illusions that you keep.
you don't know what I'm noticing.

I've change for the worse.
I've started to care about the curse
I've got rid of the hunger and the thirst.
I miss the old me.

go ahead and pull the trigger
end the misery but don't stop the music
it's enough to make you sick.
the audacity and the anticipation.

food for thought riddle writing.

Bowling Pins.

when the truth is let out and all the hearts are broken
there might be enough dust and residue to make a line to snort.

we're standing still but I don't know where we are, but we're standing together.
I want less you want more we all want the same thing as before

dreams are dreams thats all they are
in a violent less war we both end up with battle scars

the instrumentals to the music in my mind just skipped
I don't know if you heard it, but now my rhythm is a little off.

enough riddle writing.


I hoped you liked it

hell or glory I don't want anything in between.

Ok I like Prom Queen.
it grew on me... but fuck you sue me!

ummm
I have nothing profound to write right now.
I really really really want/need a new phone.
I went on a old Fall Out Boy trip last night and it reminded me a lot of my old self and how much I've changed not necessarily for the better or worse but just changed. It's weird.

uhh
I need some more blogs to follow so if you read my blog speak up I wanna get to know some folks.

oh I am such a masochist

Dug this up...


uhh on to the real post.
I have been coaching a few friends of mines, and I can't help but to feel a tad bit bad.
only on the count I often detach myself from reality and go on with life with a nonchalant attitude. Making it seem more often than not I don't care about anything.
except the few (very few) things I openly express care for (i.e my friends, my fam and... breathing) but other than that I don't care.

a kid got raped and murdered...I often find myself trying to feel pain where there is none.
I figure if I don't know the kid why should t matter to me. I try my damndest to come up with something but again more often than not...it get pushed out of the doors of my memory bank without making any deposit.

I know what you're saying. "Dino you probably would feel something if it hit closer to home..."
and to that I say you're probably right, but I don't want to wait for heartbreak.
I'll probably always detach my feelings from certain situations and reattach them when I feel find it convenient for me.

"I asked her what was worse, ignorance or apathy?"
she said "I don't know and I don't care"